


Unless You Mean It

by Chronicles_of_Scout



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/F, Kalex, Kara grew up with Diana, Light Angst, Maybe Medium Angst, definitely angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 09:23:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20444834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronicles_of_Scout/pseuds/Chronicles_of_Scout
Summary: When Kara had come out to her girlfriend, she’d been a nervous wreck but Alex had accepted her alieness in stride like some mythical white knight.Kara Prince was in love with this woman.She wanted to marry her.She wanted everything: the house, the kids, a dog or a cat, both…She wanted Alex Danvers for the rest of her life.She just doesn’t know how they’re going to get passed this.





	Unless You Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> Goooooood mooorrning.
> 
> I wrote a thing because well, I was very sad and couldn't focus on my AU. Now I'm 10% less sad so I edited the thing I wrote to not be quite so morbid and doom and gloom. I think it turned out pretty well.
> 
> This is a sort of what if fic where I merge comic lore with television canon. I.E. Kara is taken in by Wonder Woman and the Amazons when she arrives and is trained by them. After she learns control and educational stuff, she branches out on her own where she meets Alex in NC. They meet, fall in love and then this happens.
> 
> I think I covered everything but I'm not sure...
> 
> Alex and Kara have never met prior to dating and I made the DEO a better place because it so could be if they would just try!
> 
> Song: Dive- Ed Sheeran

**Unless You Mean It**

When Kara had come out to her girlfriend, she’d been a nervous wreck.By that time, she and Alex had been dating for almost a year and she was terrified that Alex would see it as some sort of slight.

Like Kara had tricked her into having a relationship with an alien or something equally as horrible.

And the truth was, that Kara kind of had?Not the tricked part, but she hadn’t been completely honest.She’d presented herself as human and had allowed Alex to develop feelings and attachments based on false pretenses and she _hated _herself for that lie.

For a little while, she’d hated the world for creating an environment that _necessitated _that lie.

Her cousin had warned her over and over again, while chasing after Lois and eventually having a child of his own, that they weren’t human.That they would never be human and that exposing themselves in any way was a one-way trip to a government lab.

But Alex wasn’t like that.

Alex was…

She was a scientist.She worked at a private lab researching new ways to combat climate change.Originally, she had wanted to study medicine but after her father had died, her grades had slipped enough that she had had to change direction or fail completely.

Alex had said it hurt at first, giving up on those dreams, but then she’d needed the solitude to process losing her dad.Jeremiah Danvers had died in a freak plane crash along with everyone else onboard.It had been completely unexpected and, given the nature of the accident, no body had been recoverable.They’d had to bury an empty casket.

Dealing with that at just twenty-three years old and still managing a doctorate was a miracle in Kara’s book.Alex didn’t see it quite the same and had blamed her self-imposed exile for why she was still single when Kara had met her.

At a baseball game of all things.

Alex had been dragged by her friend Maggie and Kara had dragged her friend Winn.Kara and Maggie had hit it off right away, ribbing each other’s friends for their sourpuss attitudes.

Only, Alex had seemed to like that and, when Maggie had gotten up to use the restroom, Alex had taken her seat to be closer to Kara.

They’d exchanged numbers, Kara a blushing stammering mess, and Alex smirking and biting her lip.

Alex had called her that same night and set up a date for the following day.

She’d taken Kara on a tour of National City since Kara had just moved there a few months before, complete with multiple food stops.When they both realized they hadn’t wanted to part ways, Alex had just kept coming up with more places to show her, ending the night with a trip to the tallest building in the city.Kara had looked out over the sparkling skyline and known that nothing would ever be as amazing as this.

She’d turned and kissed Alex and hadn’t been able to stop since.

So, she’d been terrified when she’d approached her beautiful raven haired girlfriend, stared into those green-brown eyes and told her, with as steady a voice as she could muster, that she wasn’t from Earth.

She’d expected helicopters and guns and for some reason a megaphone but, while shocked, Alex hadn’t alerted the media.

Alex had stepped into her personal space, cradled Kara’s cheeks and kissed her so softly that Kara had melted.

“Can we talk about it?”Alex had requested, still close enough that her breath ghosted over Kara’s trembling lips.“I know this is scary but… I’m not running.I’m already in love with you Kara.”

And somehow, the scariest day of Kara’s life had become the happiest.It had been their first time dropping the “L-Word” and Kara had never imagined it could happen like that.

With Alex holding her together while she teetered on the edge of a breakdown and sobbed out her origin story.

Alex had listened and asked questions and pressed reassuring kisses to Kara’s forehead and cheeks.Somehow, they had ended up on the couch with Alex wrapped around Kara, and Kara’s head resting on Alex’s shoulder.

Somehow Alex had turned “terrifying” into “Oh, this isn’t so bad.I can do this no problem.”

As the years wore on, three and counting, Kara had learned that Alex just had that talent to her; taking all of Kara’s fears and turning them into tiny little hurdles that she could easily surpass.

Kara Prince was _in love _with this woman.

She wanted to marry her.

She wanted everything: the house, the kids, a dog or a cat, _both…_

She wanted Alex Danvers for the rest of her life.

She just doesn’t know how they’re going to get passed this.

“Do you have any questions?”Alex asks from her spot at their table, sitting adjacent to Kara and rubbing a thumb over her knee.

Kara is staring straight ahead, her arms folded on the table with fingers wrapped tight around her biceps, but she doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t _see _anything.Everything’s kind of blurry. But she prefers that to the skeletons that she’d been seeing a few hours ago when she’d lost control of her vision.

Before Alex had walked in her stupid leather jacket and jeans combo and found Kara crumbled on the floor, a led lined safe open and exposed in the closet Kara had torn apart.

Which obviously isn’t where this had all started.It had initially started with Alex and a plane with a blown engine.When given the choice between staying a secret or saving the love of her life… Kara hadn’t really thought it through all the way to the end, she just knew that she’d landed the plane safely and Alex was alive.

She’d waited, dripping wet in an alley for Alex to finish talking to the police.It had taken _hours _but finally they had released everyone.Kara had been set to intercept, to pull Alex to her and never let go but then someone had beat her to the punch.A man in a crisp suit had gone to Alex and told her that the plane had been rigged to take out members of the DEO.

Which Alex was apparently a part of.

He’d said more, explained more, but Kara had sped away halfway through the conversation.Her initial intent had been to get as far away as possible until she could get more information.Whatever else happened, she couldn’t _stay _here. She couldn’t risk them finding out the connection between her and Alex. If the DEO was on to her, then her loved ones were in danger.

It wasn’t until she was almost completely packed that she realized that the man had said Alex was _a part_ of the evil organization.

Her girlfriend Alex.

Who hadn’t seemed to be itching to tell that man any different now that Kara thought about it but… the sheer absurdity of that theory, of Alex: beautiful, kind, compassionate Alex, having anything to do with those… those _monsters _was just…

Looking back now, Kara really wishes she hadn’t x-rayed the house for proof of Alex’s innocence.She wishes she hadn’t seen the lead vault; hadn’t pulled the damn thing out of the wall and broken it apart with her bare hands.

Sitting in the mess she had made, Kara had had the insane thought that she should clean this all up.

Which, she supposes, would be kind of suspicious; that Alex had kept this a secret from her for _three years _and then suddenly one day for no logical reason, her super-secret Secret Agent safe of weapons, passports, and money suddenly looks like it’s been mashed back into the wall.

Yep.

Super explainable.

When Alex had walked into their home a few minutes later, Kara was no longer sitting in the mess.By that point she’d moved to the table, unable to get her body to move any further.Alex had looked at the mess, at the closet, and then finally at Kara.

“I can explain.”

She hasn’t done that yet.

Kara is still waiting.

They’d both just sort of gone quiet after that initial statement, both waiting for the other to show their hand.Kara wanted Alex to admit it; to stop with the lies and tell her the truth.

She didn’t know what Alex wanted.

Probably to take her to a lab.

“Kara?Honey, talk to me.”

And say what?

She’s not sure what Alex wants her to say.If she wants her to lie and say that this is ok because it’s not.

Does she have questions?Kara has more than questions.She has so much she wants to say, yell, scream—but if she does that…

Kara Prince loves this woman.

She wants a life with her.

What is she supposed to say to this?

How could this possibly be ok?

“I’ll start.”Alex tries, her voice oddly croaky and fingers curling into the fabric of Kara’s cotton pants.She’d changed when she’d gotten home, opting for more baggy comfortable clothing for her new life on the run.How was this her life now?“I—honey, I wanted to tell you about this for years but I… My job isn’t something I’m allowed to talk about.With _anyone._”

“So you wouldn’t answer my questions anyway.”Hearing her own voice startles her.For one, she hadn’t really meant to say anything, and two… she sounds so… lifeless.Like someone had sucked every emotion out of her.

“No!I mean yes!I—” Taking a steadying breath, Alex scooches her chair closer to Kara, leaning her face into Kara’s line of sight.Her girlfriend’s hair is sticking up wildly and Kara wonders how many times she actually ran her hands through her short bob.“Kara you can ask me anything right now and I will be as honest with you as I can be.I love you and—”

She almost gives herself whiplash with the way she turns to look at Alex.“You _love me?_You work for the DEO.You work for an agency whose sole purpose is to imprison and experiment on aliens.”

“I know.I know this looks bad but—”

“Looks bad?!Alex!You have a flash drive filled with observations!On me!”

“I—that wasn’t me.”Alex reaches up quickly, one hand landing on Kara’s clenched right hand and the other going for her mouth to stop her harsh diatribe.“I know this looks bad, but I didn’t make those observations; I paid for them.That—" Closing her eyes, Alex visibly shakes herself and tries again.She looks like she’s walking to her death.“When we met?At the baseball game?That was… Maggie and I received a tip that you would be there.”

Bile rises quickly up her throat, choking her as her worse fears are spouted at her.

Kara throws up.She rips her face away from Alex, turns her body and throws up all over the floor.

This is worse.This is so much worse than what she had imagined.

“We didn’t know you were an alien.”Alex continues, her hands pulling Kara’s hair away from her face while she dry heaves.“This was never about you being an alien.It was… Cat Grant did that interview with you on social justice and we had to make sure that you weren’t harboring any alien refugees or… it—you threw up a red flag baby.We were just supposed to confirm you weren’t a threat and then leave.It was supposed to be simple.”

Kara wipes a hand over her mouth, tears dripping down her face.Alex pulls Kara’s chair away from the mess, uncaring of their hardwood floors, and hands her a cloth napkin.Then the brunette is disappearing into the kitchen and Kara is left staring miserably at the floor.

There’s a small chip in the wood near the closest table leg.It had been created the week of their move in. Kara, giddy with the excitement of moving in with the love of her life, had started a tickle fight with Alex, who was carrying a heavy box of dishes.

Kara had saved the dishes and Alex had had her revenge, easily bending Kara over the table and christening their new home.

The table had barely survived the encounter, but Kara hadn’t been able to find any reason to complain after Alex was done.

She’d been too blissed out on love.

_It was supposed to be simple._

But then what?

Then Kara had told Alex she was an alien?Had opened that door to an investigation into her?Had forced Alex to pretend that she was in love?That she wanted Kara?

How was any of this supposed to be _simple_?

A soft ‘whump’ sounds next to her and she looks to the side to see Alex dumping their bag of flour over her vomit.She spreads it evenly until all that’s left is white powder that is rapidly becoming wet powder.

“We’ll uh…”Alex kicks her foot nervously, approaching Kara with a glass of water.“We have to let that set.”

She winds up setting the glass on the table when Kara doesn’t look up.Doesn’t acknowledge her in any way.

There’s several moments of tense silence and then a loud thump comes from behind Kara, the sound of breaking plaster and drywall as Alex slams her fist through their dining room.

Alex curses, grunts, and then stomps back over to Kara, crouching down in front of her and grabbing her shoulders.

“There was a ring you know.In that vault.Did you see that or is it only the bad stuff I’m going to get judged on?”

“You’re bringing up a ring.Now.”

“Yes!”Alex screeches, leaping back to her feet and yanking her hands through her hair.“Yes, I am because you’re sitting there like… like we’re over,” her voice breaks and for the first time it looks like _Alex_ might cry, “and you won’t even _talk _to me or let me explain or—fuck Kara!I _love_ you!Does that count for anything?!”

Kara feels nothing.

“Ok then.Explain.”

Sadly, it doesn’t count.

It doesn’t count at all.

“Ok,” Alex nods, drags another hand through her hair and nods again.“Ok.Maggie and I are Agents at the Department for Extranormal Operations.It’s a secret government agency tasked with monitoring super powered beings and preventing or fighting any threat to the American public.Unfortunately, two decades ago some megalomaniac was voted in as Director and ran the department’s image into the ground.My boss, J’onn J’onzz, he’s been trying to fix that; put us back on the right track.”

“You’re the good guys?That’s your play here?”

Alex looks like Kara had slapped her.“It’s not a play Kara.I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that we get it right every time but we’re _trying _to do good.I know that we’re the monsters that aliens warn each other about but that’s not the reality.Not anymore.”

Kara says nothing, dropping her gaze back to the floor and curling her hands around the edges of her seat.

Every survival instinct is telling her she needs to leave, that she should have left _hours _ago; that staying here, with a DEO agent, is suicide.

Her body is screaming at her to fly away and change everything about herself so that Alex can never find her again.

Unfortunately, all Kara wants to do is curl into Alex and cry and let her make this ok.Alex was good at that.

“J’onn took over just before I spiraled in school.” Alex continues, quietly.“I’d already made a bit of a name for myself by then, so he took a chance on me.I traded jail time for a government job and in my time there we have _never _wrongfully arrested an alien or held them without a trial.We do not experiment on any aliens without their consent and that is _only _to develop healthcare for the species that are coming in.We _partner _with aliens; we don’t imprison them or extort them.There are still some agencies that _do _but J’onn has been working to stop funding for them and get them shut down.”

Kara shakes her head, brow furrowing as her headache steadily increases.

“Then why not tell me?If you worked for a “benevolent” organization that helps aliens…Alex, I _told _you I was an alien.I was honest with you as soon as I knew that I loved you.Why wouldn’t you have told me then?Or the next year or the next?”Kara blinks her eyes, angrily swiping at tears that continue to fall regardless.“We’ve been together for _three years!_Why wouldn’t you tell me this?”

Scrubbing her hands over her face, Alex shakes her head in agitation.Pacing for a moment, she finally turns back to Kara, face and eyes red and desperate.

“I love you.”

“You can’t keep saying that like it means something right now!It doesn’t mean anything if you’re not honest with me!If you were just _using _me—”

“I wasn’t!”Alex gasps, hurrying over to Kara and dropping to her knees again.“I wasn’t.You were never an operation to me.You were Maggie’s mark, not mine.She really did drag me to that game because she thought I didn’t get out enough.And Kara, from the minute I met you I—you were so special.I just wanted to spend more time with you.And then later, when you told me what you were, I didn’t care.I still don’t but I thought telling you about me would have been…”Floundering, Alex digs her fingers into Kara’s thighs, her words crashing into each other in her rush of defense. “I didn’t want to scare you away.I know what the DEO means to a lot of aliens and I was terrified that if you knew the truth you’d leave.”

“So you were just going to lie to me for the rest of our lives.You were going to what?Study me and report—”

“—I was _not _studying you—”

“—you were studying me Alex!I saw the reports and—”

“—because you threw a red flag!You said you hoped other planets—”

“—there were detailed notes about my day.What I did; where I went—"

“—didn’t look to Earth as an example of what to do—”

“—_what I ate—**Do not answer that phone Alexandra.**_”

Alex curses but doesn’t, allowing her phone to ring to voicemail before taking a steadying breath and trying again.

“I know the notes look bad, but they were from before and I—_Motherfucker_!”Grabbing her blaring phone, Alex thumbs over the ignore button without even looking at her screen.Kara scoffs and moves to stand but Alex rises with her, hands gripping Kara’s shoulders again.“I was protecting you Kara.I needed to—SHIT!WHAT?!”

It seemed like Alex had run out of patience or lies.Either way she’d answered her phone and Kara found that her newfound anger had reached astronomical heights.She’d of course been angry with Alex before.Her “scientist” girlfriend had a bad habit of forgetting important dates and appointments.Kara, Maggie, and Winn had had a running joke that Alex wouldn’t be able to be on time to save her life.

On top of that Alex was just slightly arrogant and sometimes it was hard for Kara to get her to see her side of something.She’d get frustrated and Alex, not knowing how to actually explain her opinions or the knowledge she had, would get frustrated and they’d stew in their feelings until Kara offered an olive branch.

Another thing that peeved her about Alex: the woman never made the first move to end a fight, it was always on Kara to begin fixing things.

Kara was sick of it.Her previous fights with Alex were nothing compared to this.This?This made her very afraid that her heat vision would act up.

“Are you _sure _it’s him?”Alex has lowered her voice now, as if by doing so Kara would be less likely to hear her.Kara had, after all, foolishly listed out her powers to Alex back before she’d known her girlfriend was a government agent.“Shit.Is McGill—No, I know I’m just—” Alex glances at her before turning back to the phone and lowering her voice even more.“I’m kind of in the middle of something Vaz, could you just—No sir.”Jaw clenching, Alex straightens once more, staring angrily in front of her.She’s clearly talking to her superior, this J’onn J’onzz, if her posture is anything to go by.“No sir, of course not.I just thought I could verify with Agent Vasquez that there were no other operatives avail—yes sir, I understand sir.I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Kara really hates that she’s crying right now.

Alex has her phone clutched in her hand, her fingers gripping the plastic so hard that her knuckles have gone white.She’s still looking at nothing, some nonexistent speck on the wall rather than Kara, and she’s shaking.

Not much but enough.

Kara watches Alex’s throat work several times before she’s able to break the deafening silence.

“Kara—”

“If you leave, do _not _come back.”

Alex nods once, lips trembling, a solitary tear slipping out of her left eye and landing with a plop on her pretty black blouse.Kara watches the droplet explode on the fabric with her enhanced vision, some terrible part of her happy that Alex was finally crying.

She is not happy when Alex walks past her to the closet; when Alex grabs her gun and a vest and walks out the door; when Alex leaves her without another word.

It’s several minutes of oppressive quiet before Kara realizes what she’d said; the ultimatum she had given.

And she’s known Alex for three years by this point.

Alex hates ultimatums.

Alex had left.

She’d chosen her job.

Alex wasn’t coming back.

Kara had told her not to.

Oh Rao.

Oh Rao.

~*~

“You could just call her you know?”

Winn is measuring the length of her arm, blue and red fabric thrown around his small apartment and consequentially, Kara’s face.

“No.” Her reply, muffled as it is, is firm.“I’m always the one chasing after Alex, she should do some chasing for once.This is her screw up.”

Winn tuts and wraps his tape around her neck.“You know that girl has serious anxiety issues.She’s probably scared shitless right now.Besides, maybe she tried to go back, and you weren’t there.You’ve been spending all your time on my couch.”

“It’s a nice couch.”

It isn’t even a lie.Kara really loves Winn’s couch.It’s deep and has about twenty layers of cloud level fluff.It’s the best couch that Kara had ever had the joy of sleeping on.

Unfortunately, the company who made them had gone out of business for some inane reason and she hadn’t been able to buy one of her own.

She knows secretly Alex has been looking for one on the internet, stalking random leads to make Kara happy.It had sent a warm fuzzy feeling through her whenever she thought about it but now…

It just hurts.

She hasn’t seen or heard from Alex in four days; not since their fight where Kara had told her not to come back.

Despite regretting the words immediately, she hadn’t called or text Alex to let her know that she hadn’t meant them.She was still too angry and hurt to even answer her phone.

She glared at it all day, waiting for a sign that Alex wanted to talk to her, but so far nothing had come through.Not even an email.

All she had gotten were calls from her manager, Leslie Willis, asking her what her problem was and updating her on their current inventory.The good thing about being an artist was that Kara could disappear for a few days with relatively little consequences.

The bad thing was that you might get Leslie Willis as your manager and she was an insensitive jerk.Super great friend in a pinch but not a very nice person.

Besides Leslie, there were a few messages from her cousin Clark and his wife Lois, a few friends asking to hang out or catch up, some unknown numbers.Kara hadn’t bothered really checking the contents of any of them, only typing out a quick “I’m fine”, to her cousin so he wouldn’t bother her.

Clark could be such a hypocrite.

And _also_, some rando number had been sending her hieroglyphs for like two days now.Although… maybe they were Wingdings.Kara wasn’t sure but she’d been Winn’s friend long enough to know that answering such a message was just asking for trouble.

Winn takes his measurements and heads back to his sewing table.After saving Alex’s plane, various news outlets had started speculating on the appearance of a new hero.No one had gotten a clean photo of her, most people barely able to make out that she was female, but the stories were just growing more and more fantastical.

Winn, bless his heart, now had it in his head that Kara should be a hero, hence the costume design.

And, it’s not that she would honestly mind saving people, she liked helping but… she didn’t want to do anything right now.

She wanted _Alex_ but somehow knew that this whole thing had probably destroyed whatever they’d had.And Alex not calling had solidified that belief.

They were over.

Breath hitching in her chest, Kara rolls over and curls herself into a ball, ignoring the sound of Winn’s sewing machine.Somehow this felt almost as bad as when she’d lost Krypton.

“Hey Kar?”Winn tempts from where he has now fully dressed his mannequin.“Wanna take a look?I bet you this will cheer you right up. I mean I don’t want to brag but I am kind of a genius.”

“You’re a programmer not a stylist!”Grabbing a couch cushion, Kara jams it over her head and sulks.Winn, as a best friend, should be sulking with her, not trying to cheer her up.

She didn’t want to be cheered up; she wanted to eat ice cream and watch old movies with Aubrey Hepburn and Marlon Brando. And, if Alex came and groveled at her feet for forgiveness, all the better!

“Kara, honey,” Winn drawls patiently, “I understand that you’re fighting with your soulmate and that you’re still in your avoidance stage, but how about we don’t insult our friends?”

Maybe she _could _be a little nicer.

“I’m sorry.” She hiccups, a lump lodging in her throat as her eyes begin to burn.“I’m so sorry.”

Behind her Winn sighs and then she feels a dip of weight in the couch near her hip.

“Do you want me to order us burgers?”

“…And milkshakes?”

“Two each.”Winn promises, and Kara lifts to a sitting position, pulling a swath of red fabric away from her face. Even without Alex here, at least she has Winn.Her best friend is almost as good at cheering her up.Winn smiles comfortingly, his tape measure now around his neck as he gives her shoulder a quick squeeze. “_If _you try on your new costume.”

He’s back at his mannequin before Kara can blink, doing jazz hands around his creation.

… Kara can at least say that it’s not ugly.If she were in a better mood, she might even say it looked badass, the blue bodice and long sleeves would cover all of her necessities and the red skirt would allow her mobility.

It kind of reminded Kara of her time with the Amazons and their gladiator like armor. I mean, she’d learned enough under her tutelage with Diana to know to wear shorts underneath, but she definitely didn’t hate seeing her house colors on display like this.Winn had even stamped her House Crest—_her_ _real _house crest, the one denoting her as the heir to the House of El—on the costume’s chest.

Alex probably wouldn’t appreciate that addition.

She probably wouldn’t appreciate any of it.

Aligning herself with Superman would be a surefire way to attract his enemies, and Alex kind of wigged out when it came to Kara’s safety.

Wearing a skirt that short would probably send her lover into a jealous brood fest where she glared at anyone who so much as looked at Kara wrong.

Kara was out of her clothes and in the costume before she had finished that last thought.The idea of an angry, frustrated Alex was making her feel marginally better.Alex would probably never even see her in this but just the thought of doing something that would piss Alex off was cheering Kara up exponentially.

She bounced on her toes and Winn held out a pair of red boots gleefully.

“This is good,” Kara said, nodding as she feels the give and stretch of the fabric.“It’s pretty comfortable.”

“I know right?!Like a decade ago Superman lost a piece of his suit in a fight and my contact found a way to replicate it!I’ve tested it and everything, but I never really had a real reason to use it until now because well… you know, you saved a plane.”

“I’m not going to be the next Superman, Winn.”The left boot firmly in place, Kara sets about zipping up the right.She’s not even going to ask Winn about the boots, somehow that would make this weird.

“I don’t want you to be the next Superman.I just want you to finally be able to _be Kara.”_

Pursing her lips and ignoring this new urge to cry, Kara rises to her feet and puts her hands on her hips.It’s the stance Alex takes when she goes into lecture mode and Kara had always found it kind of badass… and a huge turn on.

“How do I look?”

Winn grins.“Like a nerd.”

Surprised laughter spills from her, and she slaps Winn’s shoulder—gently.

“Jerk.I—ah!”

A sharp ringing sound enters her brain and she doubles over, hands slapping over her ears.It’s a futile effort as the ringing just gets more intense before finally a voice is heard.

_“I’m communicating at 50,000 hertz.If you can hear this, it means you are not born of this Earth.”_

Winn stoops next to her, hand sliding over her shoulder as he peers up at her in concern.

“Kara?What is it?What’s wrong?”__

_“Painful isn’t it?I tried to do this a better way, but you ignored me. Now your mate will suffer.”_

Digging a finger into her ear and straightening, Kara glances around, trying to pinpoint where the voice is coming from.“I—I don’t know.There’s a voice…”

_“How many innocent people are going to die before you prove you’re not a coward? Daughter of Alura.”_

Kara’s eyes widen, her heartrate flipping into overdrive as the message finally hits her.Mate.Alura.Alex.Someone had found Alex!

“Winn!”She turns to her friend and grabs his shoulders, trying to convey her panic.“Someone has Alex.I need you to find out the number for the DEO.Ask for a J’onn J’onzz and give them my address.”

In this moment, she thanks Rao for Diana’s teachings; for her ability to multitask.Now that she’s bothered, she can hear Alex’s heartbeat, slow but strong and smack dab in the middle of their living room.She can also hear the other man—_alien _in the room with her. His heartrate resembles a human’s the way Kara can lie.

Not at all.

“Who has Alex?Kara what—”

“Send them to my apartment!”She doesn’t have the time to explain and even if she did, she has no idea what she would say?

That an alien had hacked radio frequencies so that only someone with her hearing ability would be able to hear him?That he’d taken Alex as a hostage to draw her in?

She has no idea what she’d even _done _to warrant this level of comic book revenge!Clark was right!This was why she had never come out as a hero; her life with Alex had meant more to her than anything else, risking that to fly around in a cape had seemed so selfish.

As she throws herself into the air, her body a missile as she heads towards her home, she thinks it’s kind of ironic that Alex had been her main reason for living as a human and was now her sole reason for using her powers.

She lands in a crater of her own making, the floor beneath her feet unable to withstand the impact of her landing.Kara doesn’t care much as she forces herself not to rip the door from its hinges.A second later, she’s glad for her prudence as her enhanced vision picks up on the infrared lines that dart across the entryway.

Whoever this guy was, he was semi-intelligent, counting on her emotional connection to Alex to force a mistake.

Kara leaves the booby trap, bypassing her front door and carefully slipping into the upstairs bedroom.It’s exactly as she’d left it.Her suitcase still on the bed and stuffed with her clothes, her side of the bed undone and messy while Alex’s has neat military corners.How had she not guessed her girlfriend wasn’t just a scientist with her propensity for straight lines?

Especially since she wasn’t even straight herself?

Mentally slapping herself in the head, Kara carefully moves towards the stairwell, spotting a camera and using her freeze breath to cover the lens.

A few more quick steps and she’s on the main floor, Alex sitting on one of their dining chairs in the middle of their now destroyed living room.

Her face is a bloody mess and her hands and feet are tied to the wooden seat beneath her but she’s cognizant enough to give Kara a near imperceptible head shake.

Kara stops in her tracks, scanning the room again and seeing the problem immediately.

There’s an alien to her left.Kara knows he’s an alien because the top of his head is heavily ridged; like someone had melted the skin of his skull and reshaped it into a poor attempt at a fin.

Other than that, he’s dressed like a trucker and smells like sweat and cigarette smoke.Kara doesn’t even try to stop her nose from wrinkling.

“Did you do that?”She asks instead, head tilting towards Alex.Her hands curl into tight fists by her sides and she has to remind herself to breathe like Diana had taught her.To assess the entire situation.

The alien nods, a smirk playing at his lips as he takes a bite from an apple.“It was fun too.You look like Alura.”

There’s an axe by his left hand, well cared for with a worn handle.He clearly knows how to use it and, if Alex really is a government agent tasked with taking out aliens, he’s a skilled fighter.Kara’s felt how strong Alex is, has delighted in tracing her fingers over those tight muscles and watching Alex work out at their gym.

If he’d fought her, there’s no way Alex had gone down easy.

Her knuckles pop under the pressure of her ire.

“You knew my mother?”

He stands.“It’s pretty hard to forget the woman who sentenced you to lifetime imprisonment.”

At least that much sounds familiar.

“Fort Rozz.What does my mother have to do with that?I don’t even know who you are.”

“I am Vartox.”He says, lifting his axe into his hand.“And your mother knew me because she was my judge and my jailer.”Shrugging, he flips the axe and regards Kara coolly.“It’s a shame that she’s dead, now I have to take my revenge on her daughter.”

Kara had been expecting him to levy his first attack against her, had braced her feet and tensed her muscles in preparation for his attack.When she sees him fling the axe at Alex, her heart stops and she’s blurring before she can even consider the consequences.

She’s not in a good enough position to completely catch it and, before her hand can grip the handle, the blade has sliced into her forearm.

_Your enemy must think you weak at your strongest, and strong at your weakest._

The lessons of the Amazonian warriors are all that keep Kara from flinging the axe back at Vartox.Instead she gasps, and lets it collapse on the floor, eyes going wide at the sight of her own blood.She’s seen it before, has bled freely during her tenure on Themyscira—the Amazons hold no mercy in their training.

But Vartox doesn’t know that.

All he knows is that she is the daughter of the woman who had jailed him, a woman he obviously considers to be beneath him.

And if he had thought her mother, the strongest woman Kara had known, to be anything other than powerful, than what must he think of her child?

Kara glances back at Alex, sees that her girlfriend’s mouth has been gagged and that she’s looking at her with frightened eyes.

It’s enough, she tells herself.Alex breathing is enough to get her through this.

“If you think that hurts…” Vartox trails off threateningly, smirking at Kara’s display of fear.“Let’s see how you like this.”

The punch is expected, but Kara still stumbles, still allows herself to trip over the remains of what was once their dining room table.It’s broken down the middle and Kara tries not to imagine Alex’s body going through it.

While Alex’s heartbeat sounds steady in her ears, it’s also slow, weakened.Kara hadn’t had the time to properly assess her injuries, but she can smell the sharp tang of blood in the air, can taste the copper that comes along with it.

Alex needs help and, if Kara’s going to get her to it, she’s going to need to be smart.

She’s never actually fought a real-life foe before; never had to deal with life and death.At the moment she doesn’t much care if she dies as long as she takes Vartox with her.If Vartox is gone than Alex is safe.

That’s all she can think about.

She ducks beneath his left cross, stumbling again and scrabbling back through the mess of broken furniture pieces.Vartox grabs her by the throat and chokes off her airway.Idiot.She doesn’t need to breathe the way humans do.

Still, she forces herself to struggle, to choke around his pointless hold and allow her eyes to tear.And Alex said she couldn’t act.

This was an Emmy winning performance right here.

Vartox sneers at her and slaps her so hard her vision whites.

Ok.So he had super strength and she _should _not let him hit her again.

From her right something whirs to life and then Vartox is being blasted across the room.Dazed and confused, Kara sits up in time to see Alex, leaning heavily against the doorframe, shoot at Vartox again.She has a gleaming silver gun in her hands that is as big as her torso and a ‘fuck you’ look that would have sent _Kara _running.

Next to her is the remains of the chair she’d been strapped in, pieces of wood still tied around her forearms.So badass.

“Don’t fucking touch her you piece of shit!”

Kara tackles Alex back into the closet, shielding her with her body as Vartox grabs his axe and charges at them.

“Stay down!”

This time she does catch the axe, the handle biting into hands surprisingly hot.Kara doesn’t really respond much to temperature, but she finds the longer she grips the axe, the angrier Vartox gets and the hotter his weapon becomes.

It’s a struggle just keeping her hands on it and, although she’s barely put up much of a fight, she finds herself tiring already.She takes two quick punches to her ribs, feeling something snap under the blows and curses herself for not keeping up with her training.

She was rusty and it was going to get her killed.

Still, at least she knows what his abilities are now.He can hit as hard as her, move as fast as her, and he has an axe that can pierce her skin.Other than knowing how to fight, that seems to be where his abilities end.

Kara has a lot more than that in her arsenal.

She lurches up, using her flight ability to hover and deliver a powerful kick to Vartox’s abdomen.He stumbles back and she quickly goes after him, trading punches as the fight truly begins.

Vartox may be skilled, but he’s no Diana Prince.Weak as her wounded arm may be, Vartox is still not a major threat.Or he wouldn’t be if this was a fair fight; if Vartox would stop trying to go after Alex as well.

Somewhere behind her, Alex is trying to get a clean shot but Vartox keeps his body close to Kara’s.He knows he’s outnumbered but he also knows Alex isn’t a match for him in a fist fight.Her strength is in her guns and she can’t use them without hurting Kara.

Vartox grabs her cape with one hand, tugging down and around in a move that sees Kara with her back to him and her cape around her throat.She grunts, plants her feet and flips herself over him.

She’d thought it would have given her the upper hand, but Vartox uses the move as a distraction and rips Alex’s gun out of her hands.Alex gets knocked back, her head colliding with the wall and body finally crumpling.

“Alex!”Kara flings her hand out, already in the air and flying but Vartox grabs her cape again and throws her down, her body now dangerously close to Alex’s.

Her brain chooses that moment to supply her with the voice of Edna Mode from the Incredibles screeching ‘no capes’.She totally gets that now.

A second later she’s on her back, Vartox kneeling over her and swinging his axe down at her head.

Gasping in pain, it’s all she can do to hold the axe up and away from her face; to keep her body between Vartox and Alex.

“He’s a Valeronian.”Alex gasps near her ear, her hand clutching at her head.“Their strength lies in their weapons.Use your heat vision Kara!”

She does, allowing blue lasers to erupt from her eyes for the first time in years.It’s uncomfortable and Kara grits her teeth both at the odd sensation, and the jarring strength that Vartox is using to try to kill them.

Unfortunately, it seems Vartox is just as strong as she is, and _he _isn’t trying to protect someone.He has nothing to lose.

She feels her strength start to wane.She’s just spent the last few days cocooned away from humanity, avoiding all traces of happiness and sunlight.Her powers rely on the radiation of the yellow sun; on her body having enough calories to burn.

She’s been filling herself up with junk.

This is a terrible way to enter a fight.

Diana was going to have her _head _if she made it out of this.

“Alex.”She grits, teeth clenching as her hands start to shake, the axe inching close enough that she feels the heat along her nose.“Run.”

“You can do this Kara!I believe in you!”

Which basically translates to “I’m an idiot who you chose to love and now I’ve decided I’m going to sacrifice myself like an idiot because reasons and hurt you even worse than I already have by possibly dying.”

Kara’s paraphrasing but she thinks she’s got that right.

Her arms ache and her eyes burn like never before, but Kara will be damned if she lets anyone else she loves die for her.Especially not before she gets to rip Alex a new one.This was _not_ what Kara meant when she said ‘grovel’.She had meant chocolates and milkshakes and lots of makeup sex and possibly quitting that stupid job of hers and—**_where the hell was the DEO anyway?!_**

All of that anger and frustration gets pushed into her heat vision, a powerful yell escaping her as the axe finally begins to heat up.The temperature actually begins to make her hands sweat and then Kara feels it give.

It’s only a slight task to keep her heat vision on target as she pushes from under Vartox and spreads herself in front of Alex.She’s got her girlfriend wrapped up when the thing finally explodes, Vartox yelling in pain as he’s launched away from them.

Alex tucks her head under Kara’s chin, fingers digging into Kara’s ribs and almost making them hurt with whatever Vartox had broken in there.Kara doesn’t mind.She just holds her until she feels the heat won’t kill her and then uses her artic breath to put out the rest of the flames.

The sound of multiple cars pulling up, car doors slamming, filters into her ears and she pulls Alex closer, intent on protecting her from this new threat.

“It’s the DEO.”Alex breathes, voice faint.“You called them?”

“Winn did.”Kara confirms, eyes tracking Vartox from where he’s landed in the kitchen.

He glares at her, bloody and burnt, pure hatred leaking into his voice.“You think I’m the threat?You have no idea what’s coming.”

And then like something out of a bad television drama, he dramatically stabs himself in the chest with a piece of his own destroyed weapon.

Somehow it kills him instantly, even though he hadn’t even gone that deep.Valeronians were weird.

“Agent Danvers?”The footsteps are closer now, crunching over broken glass and wood as the agents enter their home.“Agent Danvers are you here?”

Alex doesn’t answer.Instead she grips Kara’s cape and tugs until Kara looks at her.

She’d been avoiding it, not wanting to see the bloody nose or the black eye or any of the signs of struggle.How long had Alex been like this?Vartox had said he’d been trying to contact her before.How long?How long had Kara left her with that mad man?

“Go.”Alex whispers, “you don’t have to stay here Kara.If you do, they’ll know who you are.”

“I’m not leaving you.Not again.”

“Kara.”Alex chokes on a sob, rolling her lips before wincing in pain.“Please.”

“I love you.I’m so sorry Alex.”

Alex shakes her head, but it doesn’t look like she has the strength to keep her eyes open much less keep talking.It’s all on Kara now.She wants to say more but then the DEO party finally finds them, and Kara carefully sets Alex on the floor.

When she rises to her feet, several guns level at her, the soft whirring cluing her in that whatever they have is not the standard military artillery.

This might hurt.

“Who are you?”

The words come from a large man dressed in all black.He alone is not pointing a gun at Kara, but his presence and the deep rumbling of his voice present him as a threat.

“You first.”

The man squints at her, before looking down at Alex.

“She doesn’t look very good.”He says, “you willing to let her die for your pride?”

And maybe it’s the build up from the last few days, maybe it’s the Vartox fight or maybe it’s just that she can literally _hear _Alex’s body quitting on her, but Kara finds herself in tears very quickly.

“No.I need…”She sniffs and wipes a hand under her nose, trying to regain even a semblance of control.“She said that I could trust someone.The Director.”

The man nods and pulls something out of her pocket.He doesn’t bother stepping closer, only holding it up so that Kara can see his identification.

“That’s me.My name is Hank Henshaw, I’d like to see to the health of my agent now.”

Kara clenches her hands but nods.

Her next words surprise them both.

“I’m going with you.”

~*~  
  


Kara’s got no idea what a super secret government agency is supposed to look like, but she had _definitely_ imagined better décor.

Maybe bigger windows.

Any windows.

Doors.

But alas, instead of MIB level offices complete with raunchy alien immigrants, the DEO is set in a rocky cave with no windows and very few doors.It’s dimly lit and smells like limestone and they don’t even have any food trucks around.

When Alex woke up, Kara was going to have a serious conversation with her about the reasons she sometimes skipped lunch.

‘Forgetting’ seems to be a lot less truthful than Kara would like.

She scratches idly at the green bands around her wrists, glancing up at Alex’s still form on the hospital bed.

The green Kryptonite itches but it’s the only way Henshaw would agree to allow her near Alex.

Kara had refused to say anything to him, so he’d remained in the dark about her true identity.She’d actually heard a few agents try to call Kara Prince’s phone before he’d slapped the cuffs on her.

Hopefully Winn would think of something to cover that up.

Or maybe Alex would have let slip to her colleagues that she and Kara were on the outs and they’d take her silence as more confirmation that Alex had gotten with a cold-hearted jerk.

Who didn’t answer distressing calls.

Or come to see her longtime girlfriend in the hospital.

Although, Kara isn’t sure what hospital they would have told Kara Prince to visit.Or what story.What?Did Alex get beat up by a beaker?

Sighing and trying not to slouch too much, Kara lets her eyes roam over Alex’s still face.The doctors had given her something after treating her injuries and the bruising around her face was already starting to fade.

Accelerated healing drug.

Cause super-secret agents needed stuff like that.

Kara wonders if Alex is the one who had created the serum and her chest fills with pride at the thought.She’d always been more than a little turned on by Alex’s intelligence.

Her joints pop when she stands, having remained stagnant for too long after being abused in the earlier fight.Kara feels kind of human… or at least what she assumes humans to feel like.Hungry for sure, and tired for another… a little achy, kind of itchy.

It just doesn’t feel good.

She braces her hands against one of the rock walls and tries to stretch out the worst kinks in her upper back.When she gets these Kryptonite cuffs off, she and Alex are going to have a long conversation about her “benevolent agency” housing the one thing that could seriously hurt Kara.

If Alex wakes up.

_When _Alex wakes up.

The doctors had assured Kara it would only be a few hours but that had been _hours _ago.She rolls her neck and tries to think of things to distract herself.

“I wasn’t studying you.I paid a contact to pull every record the DEO had on you and wipe you from our servers.That’s what the flash drive was.I should have destroyed it though.I have no idea why I kept it.”

And just like that Kara’s heart is racing.

Turning slowly, she is still somehow unprepared to see Alex looking so helpless.Alex looks so small in that bed, the white blankets pulled over her chest doing nothing to hide her pallor or the bruising on her skin.

Kara swallows but doesn’t make any other moves.

She can’t.

She feels frozen to her spot and, if she talks, she knows she’ll just break down in tears.

Alex’s throat moves and she wiggles her shoulders that way she does when she’s clearly uncomfortable.It makes Kara’s throat hurt.

“Hey,” Alex prompts softly, holding out her hand towards Kara, “come ‘ere.”

Expecting Alex to want to hold her hand, Kara reaches out for her and is surprised when the brunette surpasses her fingers in favor of her wrists.A few deft movements and the Kryptonite emitters are off, the cuffs falling noisily to the floor as Alex rubs a thumb over the skin they had once occupied.

“You don’t need those.”She says, “did J’onn do that?”

“Hank.”Kara refutes, keeping her voice just as soft.“I don’t know if you know this, but your boss is an alien.”

“Yeah… a Martian at that.He’s a nosy asshole; my own personal space dad.”There’s a beat of silence and then Alex wrinkles her lip.“Hank Henshaw is his cover.J’onn is his real name.”

“Is Alex Danvers yours?”

She hadn’t meant for that to sound quite so snooty; had meant it to be more of a joke but she hasn’t found anything about the past few days very funny.Apparently, Alex doesn’t either, because her cheeks go slack and her mouth pulls to the side awkwardly.Kara knows she’s nervous when her hands start to shake.

Still, Alex has never been anything else but strong.

Her own personal protector.

“Everything I told you about me is true except… my dad didn’t die in a plane accident.He died protecting J’onn from the real Hank Henshaw.He fell over a cliff and that’s why we never had a body.J’onn was injured and weak but he promised my dad he’d look after me.That’s how I got recruited.”

“And that’s it?”

“That’s it.”Alex exhales loudly, turning her gaze towards the ceiling.“I never lied to you about us; about my feelings for you.We’re _real _Kara and… I know that it looks like I’m… I don’t know, using you or something but I’m not.I never was.I honestly didn’t even know you were an alien until you told me.I mean, I suspected because your _terrible _at keeping your abilities secret but… I don’t know what else to say.I don’t know how I can fix this.”

Kara doesn’t either.

“You lied to me.”

“I know.”

“For _years._”

Alex nods.“I know.”

“Were you _ever _going to tell me?”Voice wobbling, Kara takes a second to bury her face in her hands.Trying and failing to steady herself.“Were you going to get down on your knee and ask me to marry you _knowing _that you weren’t sharing your whole self with me?Is that what you think love is?”

“I was scared.”Alex tries, not even trying to hide her emotions like Kara.Pushing herself up into a higher position, Alex winces in pain and Kara can’t help but move closer, fighting the urge to fuss over her wounded girlfriend.It takes a few moments before Alex can continue but when she does, she sounds just as affected as before.“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.My whole life… I never thought I was cut out for love, you know?And then you happened and I—I just didn’t want to lose that.”

“Alex…”

“But I fucked up.I lied to you and I betrayed your trust and… and you deserve better.I know you deserve better than that—than _me _and—mmfh”

Whatever other self-degrading things Alex had been going to spew were cut off by Kara’s kiss.It’s kind of messy, both of them well and truly crying at this point, but as she swallows Alex’s soft whimpers, Kara knows it needed to be done.One of the things Kara has always hated, ever since she’d met Alex, was her inability to see the _amazing _woman she was.Alex saw the good in everyone else but herself, and it drove Kara mad.

Because Alex was kind.

And she let Kara eat as much as she wanted.

And she always knew when Kara needed cuddles.

And even though she knew Kara was the physically stronger of the two, she still put herself between Kara and danger at every single turn.

She cooked terribly, and she laughed quietly, and she loved fiercely and maybe that wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.Maybe some people wouldn’t like Alex’s temper or her propensity to smother when she was trying to protect or her complete inability to properly communicate her emotions but…

But it was _Kara’s _cup of tea.

She loved how Alex loved her.

And this was just a thing.Just a stupid, idiotic thing that Alex had done out of fear and stupidity and… And she’d done so much more _good_for Kara than this one stupid thing and that _counted._

_It counted so much._

“You don’t get to lie to me.”Kara cries, ignoring the mess her face is becoming as she showers Alex’s face in kisses.“I swear to Rao Alex, if you lie to me again, I will punt you straight into the sun!”

“I won’t I swear!”

Alex’s fingers tangle in her hair and she tugs, Kara gasping at the pleasant sensation.Usually this would see them devolving into other more pleasant activities, but they’re still at the DEO.And, even though Alex isn’t verbally complaining, Kara can still sense her discomfort in the way her body tenses and her mouth pulls at certain touches.

As much as she wants to reaffirm that Alex is here with her, that they’re both alive and aware that they want to make things work, now isn’t the time or place.

“I love you.”Alex presses reverent kisses to Kara’s temple, her brow, her nose.It’s as soothing as her voice, now much calmer than it was before.Calmer than Kara for sure.“God, I love you so much.I’m so sorry Kara.”

“I’m sorry!I didn’t know Alex!I swear I didn’t know.I would have come if I had known.”

“I know.I know you would have.It’s ok—”

Kara shakes her head, and pushes forward, Alex catching her face and pulling her against her chest.“He h—hurt you because of _me._It was my fault.You could have d—d—I can’t lose you Alex!I need you._Please._”

Her face feels hot, and there’s an unpleasant stinging in her eyes that warns her she needs to _calm down, _but she can’t stop the sobs that are threatening to choke her.Alex had almost died.Died as in gone forever.No redo’s.That hadn’t quite hit her until just now, how close she had come to losing it all.

Alex’s arms are tight around her, bordering on painful in her semi-weakened condition.Her girlfriend’s chin is a reassuring weight on her head and Alex tops if off by running a firm hand, up and down Kara’s back.

“I’m here Kara.I’m right here.I’m going to be ok; I promise.Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Please don’t leave me.Please, I can’t—”

Alex shushes her, rocking her gently and combing her fingers through Kara’s blonde hair with her free hand.It still shocks Kara, how easily this woman can soothe her into quiet.

“Go to sleep honey.I’m not going anywhere, I swear.We’re ok.We’re gonna be ok.I’ve got you.”Alex promises, kisses the crown of Kara’s head.“I’ve got you.”

~*~

Kara watches from the doorway as Hank/J’onn sets a stack of files on the desk she had set up for Alex.Fast healing serums may be a thing, but that didn’t mean that Alex would be back on her feet anytime soon.

She had, after all, been thrown through _several _pieces of furniture.

But alas, she was still Alex, and she absolutely refused to spend her recovery time in the DEO medical facilities.Hank/J’onn hadn’t been too happy about it, but apparently Alex hadn’t been lying when she’d called him her Space Dad.

The man had crumbled even faster than Kara when Alex had shot him her most menacing—re: adorable—glare.

Kara has to duck her head to hide the smile that wants to creep out when Hank/J’onn forces another pillow behind Alex’s head.

“You’re meant to stay in bed Agent Danvers.I will know if you are disobeying direct orders from your superiors.”

Alex ignores him, leaning over to survey the manila folders Hank/J’onn had brought.

“Did you make sure to grab the Girardian file?I was _this _close to—”

“It’s here.”He taps the aforementioned file with his index finger.“And I will gladly take it back to the DEO if you do not lay back.”

Alex grumbles but slouches back in their bed, arms crossing it the most adorably petulant display Kara has ever seen from her.

When Alex had been released from the DEO, Kara had made a quick call to Winn.If she was going to allow Alex to come home, she wanted to make sure it was safe for her; that Kara didn’t have any more random enemies laying in wait.

Winn had gone through her phone, easily decoding the messages Kara had believed to be Wingdings as Valeronian and then assuring her that Vartox had only gotten her number because he’d taken it off of Alex’s phone.

They were safe for now.

Fingers tightening in the material of her sweater, Alex's sweater really, Kara vows to keep it that way.

Hank/J’onn rolls his eyes and turns to leave, giving Kara a firm nod as he exits their room.

In truth, Kara isn’t even sure he had needed to come here.In truth, Kara had super strength and speed and would have been more than capable of setting Alex up for her work.

But Alex’s boss had insisted and when Kara had seen how much they meant to each other she had stepped aside.As far as bad first meetings went, she and Hank/J’onn certainly hadn’t hit it off.

Alex had called him family though, and the way he looked at her, Kara knew he felt the same.She’d lost enough of her own family to ever begrudge Alex hers.It’d take time but she was sure she and the Martian would reach an understanding… eventually.

“Usually I’m the broody one.”

Pursing her lips, Kara brandishes the flash drive she had found.It was highly encrypted and, if Diana hadn’t insisted on Kara learning about human security methods, she probably wouldn’t have been able to crack it.

She had which meant anyone else could as well.

Not a chance she was happy with taking.

The smell of burnt plastic permeates the air after she disintegrates the thing, a lump of black all that’s left behind.

No loose ends.Alex had said that was everything and Kara’s going to try really hard to trust her on that but… time.It all just needs a little bit of time.

Kara glances up at Alex to gauge her reaction, to see if the destruction of her intel will ruin anything else.

Eyebrow lifting, Alex tilts her head and gives Kara an unimpressed look.“You know you just released a shit ton of carcinogens into the atmosphere, right?”

Kara chuckles, shrugging as tosses the melted plastic in the direction of the artic and steps closer to the bed and Alex.Her girlfriend pats the mattress next to her and Kara willingly lays down in the vacant spot.She’d heard Hank/J’onn leave so it was just the two of them once again, she was safe here with Alex.

“What are you thinking?”Alex questions gently, fingers playing with the hair at Kara’s temple.

“That Hank/J’onn communicates in smolders and grunts and winks.”

“You need to stop calling him that.”

“To his face?”Alex gives her a look and Kara smirks, knowing how much of a brat she’s being.“He put me in cuffs, I’m not required to be nice.”

Alex sighs and tugs on Kara’s ear.“I already spoke to him about that.He… didn’t really have a good excuse but he was doing what he thought was right.He wasn’t sure if you were still angry with me.”

“I am.”

“I know.”

As true as the statement is, Kara doesn’t move, and Alex still looks at her with nothing but love.

Lips quirking to the side, Kara rolls onto her back to stare at the ceiling.“I’ve been thinking…”

She trails off without meaning to, her thoughts still a bit scattered even though she has a semi decent idea of what she actually wants to say.Which is that maybe Alex isn’t completely to blame for this… situation.

Eventually Alex pokes her cheek, a soft smile on her face when Kara bothers to look.Now positioned on her side, Alex looks vulnerable in a way that Kara’s never really seen before and she knows with absolute certainty that this woman loves her.That this really was all just a huge mistake.

“That’s dangerous.”Trailing her finger down Kara’s nose, Alex ends the gesture with a soft bop.“What were you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking that maybe the reason you never told me about you was because I never shut up about me.I never created an environment where you thought it was safe to talk to me about this.”

Alex mouth drops and she blinks.Once.Twice.Until a scowl forms on her face, fast and fierce.“Kara _no—”_

_“_It’s true.After I told you I was an alien, you spent hours—_years _learning about me.About Krypton and my time on Themyscira.Alex you learned an alien language for me.We spent so much time talking about _me _that there wasn’t ever any room for you.”Alex scoffs but Kara grabs her hand when she would have retreated even further.“That was my fault Alex and I’m _so_ sorry.”

“You didn’t do _anything_ wrong.”

“I didn’t do it all right either.And I know,” she continues, squeezing Alex’s hands when her girlfriend would have interrupted her.“I know this isn’t exactly the same but… I know what it’s like to live with a secret that big, to hide a huge part of yourself from the people you love. And I know how lonely that can make you feel.”

It’s something she’d had to remind herself of when Alex had been in that hospital bed.Initially, Kara had tried to hold her hand, but Alex had been so cold that she’d had to release her.Logically she understands that humans lose body heat when they’re unconscious, but she hated the way Alex had felt.

So instead, she retreated to a corner and thought.Kara had gone through every reason of ‘why’ that she could conceive of and then had started looking at why she hadn’t been able to keep her own secret.She’d remembered how scared she was; how terrified that the one person who’d made her feel at home on this planet would leave without a backwards glance.

“Alex,” she prompts, fingers brushing over Alex’s cheekbone.“_You are not alone_.”

Alex looks away, her face scrunching up, clearly fighting against tears.She’s probably blaming herself for Kara taking any blame in all of this and she’s probably still terrified that Kara hated her.It’s adorable and frustrating and completely unnecessary.

“I can’t do this without you.”Alex finally admits, voice slightly muffled due to the hand she’s using to cover her mouth.

“You don’t have to.”Scooting closer to Alex, Kara rests her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder, feeling marginally better when Alex hesitantly wraps an arm around her.“Alex… I want us to talk about you.I… I want to know everything.Anything you’re willing to share.”

“I wanna share everything with you.”

And if Alex’s voice is a little watery, they both ignore it.

“Then tell me about the DEO.What’s it like?”

“I… It’s intense.It’s more than I ever thought I’d be doing.”Alex hesitates as if waiting to be scolded.Kara has no interest in that though and presses a soft kiss to Alex’s collarbone in reassurance.This is a safe space.They’re safe here.“There’s no one really above me because I’m making the science up as I go.And I mean I know it will never make me famous in normal circles but… what I’m doing _matters_.I’m helping. Even if no one else sees it, the aliens that come through the DEO do.There was a family of Circadians who immigrated two weeks ago?They were having issues digesting our food and I helped recreate their native vegetation.I mean, they’ll have to grow it in an isolated greenhouse but at least they’ll survive.”

Kara listens to the steady thump of Alex’s heart, secure in knowing that it’s beating normally now.“That’s amazing Alex.I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Alex exhales slowly, the last of the tension leaking out of her body as she gently nuzzles her nose in Kara’s hair.

“I made you a Kryptonite blocker.”Kara’s head pops up, but Alex is already looking away, a blush staining her cheeks.“I figured one day you might want to don the cape like your cousin and I… I wanted you to be prepared.”Alex bites her lip, one hand coming up to mess with her hair.“I made J’onn test it.”

And Kara can’t do anything but kiss her after that.She at least keeps it soft, not wanting to injure Alex any further by pushing her too far.Amongst her many injuries, Alex has a split lip that’s only just closed.Kara doesn’t want to risk reopening it.

“I love you.”She murmurs between kisses.“I love you; I love you; I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Kara beams, propping herself on her hands so that she hovers over Alex, selfishly enjoying the way Alex begins to caress her hips.“I’ll have Winn build the blocker into the suit.He’s actually not that bad of a designer.”

All the tension Alex had just released comes bleeding back for some reason, her eyes darkening dangerously.

“Wait, Winn designed your suit?”

“Yeah, in like a day.He was super annoying about it.”

“How did he know your size?”

“He measured me.”

“He… measured your breasts?”

“…yes?”Kara sits up, knowing impulsively that something is off but not knowing quite what that is.“I know he’s a guy, but he did a good job.I mean when I tried it on in front of him, he said I looked like a nerd so he’s not _that_ great but—gah!”

As much as she wants to scold Alex for employing her super secret agent skills on her and flipping their positions, there is no way in hell Kara can deny how absolutely turned on she is by this turn of events.She trained with Wonder Woman.She’d trained with the women who had _trained _Wonder Woman.

And yet somehow, this normal, gorgeous, intelligent human had her on her back with her hands pinned over her head.

Jackpot.

Kara had hit the Jackpot.

Alex is completely pressed against her, her face mere inches from Kara’s and her eyes dark enough to be almost black.

The fact that her heart feels like it’s about to beat out of her chest should _not _be a reflection of her control.

It’s just… well she’s very very in love with this woman.

Kara shudders when Alex leans further into her, her reddish-brown hair ghosting over Kara’s cheek.Rao.

“Kara?”Alex husks, eyes watching Kara’s as they flutter closed.

The brunette’s gaze is so intense that Kara has no choice but to swoon.Her head falls to the side, unintentionally baring her neck and shuddering when Alex takes the bait.

“Huh?”

It’s not like she’s surprised.Alex’s preferred method of revenge was to give Kara multiple orgasms.Whatever Kara had done here, she was going to pay for it.She was going to pay for it for quite a while.

Alex’s teeth scrape her ear and she _feels_ the heart shape that her irises form.She can’t wait for Alex to ask her to marry her.Her answer would definitely be yes.

“Why would you let Winn see you naked?”

**Author's Note:**

> Quick notes:
> 
> I honestly don't know what Vartox's deal was. I never got why she *had* to go for the axe so I made up my own version where the axe shares some of his strength. IDK if that's canon or not but whatever. Also, Vartox's death was lame. Kara was pretty badass and hot in that last fight but it was just... all that buffness for no reason ya know?
> 
> J'onn is honest with Alex in this one because... why lie? Makes no sense. She's alien friendly, her dad was alien friendly, she fell in love with an alien... for a telepath, he should know he can trust her.
> 
> In the comics at least, Superman gets his suit from his pod/fortress/or some such. Definitely from Krypton though and it's like a special material to protect him and stuff... Winn makes Kara's suit on TV... I haven't read enough Supergirl comics to tell you where she gets her suit from but I merged them. Superman's suit is replicated, Winn uses the same material to make Kara's because let's face it, a simple microfiber tech isn't going to cut it.
> 
> And WHY OH WHY did Alex not think of Kryptonite blockers if she'd been working at the DEO the whole time? Like you knew her weakness-- her one known weakness--and you did nothing. For shame Alex Danvers. For shame.
> 
> The Strongest/Weakest line is a little paraphrasing from The Art of War.
> 
> Lastly, when we go through heartbreak, everything seems really really big. Insurmountable levels of big. Which is partly why Kara is so pissed in the beginning here. Besides the part where she's absolutely justified in feeling that way, there's also the part where the betrayal and lies are fresh wounds. So later, when she's calmed down a bit and had time to think, Alex's betrayal, while still wrong, isn't quite as detrimental to their relationship, yeah? Yeah. And that's all for this random ass story. 
> 
> Side Note: Would you guys be interested in unfinished snippets/extracts from my other stories. I was cleaning out my folders the other day and found like a handful of fics that were either revamped or just never made it into a story. For example, We found love in a hopeless place? Found a short scene that was meant to be an epilogue but then I just never did it...
> 
> Let me know before I delete them all. 0.0
> 
> ~Chronicles


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